Welcome to my diary. Be warned that nothing here is accompanied by a trigger warning. It is the unfiltered talking space of someone who, in a word, "is fucked up". This isn't a happy or relaxing page! Proceed only if your curiosity outweighs any discomfort with dark topics.

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6.2.2023

Lyric of the Day: Everyone adores you... / At least, I do

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I love summer vacation... Nothing to do but to watch shows on my to-watch list. Which is to say, I completed my first watch of Kanon! A classic anime I've been meaning to get around to for a while. It's still really good, all these years later... Makoto's final scene made me cry. Which, honestly, I wasn't expecting to do with this anime, even if it is a notorious tearjerker...

And speaking of watching things, the LEGO Monkie Kid season 4 specials came out!! I loved them, per usual! I mean, they didn't use the ink Demon Bull Family to address Red Son's trauma, which I'm saddened by, but the specials were already kind of pressed for time. You had to have the main cast defeat find each other again AND kill God within, like, 45 minutes! The new scenes of myself (Macaque) and Sun Wukong were especially good... It even gave me a canon location to a memory I had. I remembered something specific happening under a lone tree; a tree which I recognized as what we were sitting under in the beach flashback scene. It's an amazing feeling when something in the source lines up so perfect like that...

Aaand, of course, it's pride month! Honestly, in the middle of what is, essentially, a second lavender scare in real time, pride month just... Hits different this year. I asked my mom to take me to a local pride event on the 4th, and she agreed, and I'm really looking forward to it. It'll be the first time that I've gone to pride. I plan to bring water, and maybe I'll make some kandi pride bracelets to hand out to folks, if I still have enough materials.

And about pride hitting different this year... I'm actually sort of looking forward to the rainbow capitalism. I can't wait to see brands turn their logos rainbow in a desperate bid to seem shallowly supportive. Bud Light made a limited run of rainbow cans, and people took machine guns to them. Target ran a line of (admittedly cringy) pride clothes, and it's become the subject of domestic terrorism. If as many companies go rainbow as they usually do this time of year, there will be too many companies to boycott and threaten. I can't bring myself to care about the shallowness of these ways of showing support, because, honestly, in the midst of the current climate, even shallow support is support. It'll be almost a relief.

What a bittersweet taste this pride month has come with.

6.16.2023

Lyric of the Day: Can't differentiate a / Girl / Am I a girl?

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Pride was super fun! Next year, I'll probably go to the festival instead of the parade, as I had a lot of fun interaction with others, compared to the parade. I had to leave the event early, because of overstimulation, but I stayed for something like two hours.

Someone was giving out free pride pins, so I took a few, and they're the first pride pins I own! There was also someone in a fursuit head standing next to me where I watched the parade, and it was a super well-made one too. I also got a henna tattoo from a Native person selling them there! I got this super cute cat and moon one. The first one shows how it looked when it was first applied, and the third shows how it looks now! It's super cool.

Also in related news, my Shadowpeach charm arrived today~!

Between this and my Sun Wukong plushie package (which lots of extra goodies) coming soon, plus the upcoming Megapolis Mania zine (which also comes with extra goodies), I'm gonna have a ton of Sun Wukong-related merch soon! Maybe enough to make an ita bag for Wukong? That would be sooo fun to go around with, hehehe. I'm currently looking into it!

Regarding 'going around', I recently hung out in a nearer-by coffee shop to write the first draft of my Danganronpa trans zine fic! It was sooo lovely, and the hot cocoa was cheap, too... I'm definitely gonna go back there whenever I wanna do a lot of writing in one sitting!

As inspired by someone on Neocities, I finally cleared off my desk, as well, and made a cute little computer space for myself! It's a work in progress, but it makes me happy to have Flapjack right by my hand, within easily-pettable distance.

Finally, I've been participating in a nonofficial ArtFight spinoff! It's basically just ArtFight, but hosted in a Discord server, and it's Owl House-themed! I've only gotten one attack so far (which partially ignored parts of my prompt), buuut I've been having a ton of fun attacking everyone else! I've finally gotten back into the art groove, it feels like. I'm also super happy with how my art has looked lately, too. I feel great about where I am, and I'm gonna savor this feeling while it lasts!

This entry is quite positive, so I'll sign off here! I wanna talk about rainbow capitalism this year again next entry, though.